Weary of the wheel of material life, expending energy draining going nowhere fast in rotation, tired and forlorn must power the greed engine, sitting with my wine asking the question why am I programmed to work this wheel, is it the knowledge of age that speaks, or my creaking body, that will not allow me to do what I once did, I am weary of the systemic ideal, that wants me in my place, I have worked my whole life, feeding energy to the greed engine, the life love and laughter, I have missed whilst working this dam wheel, is the tax that I have paid, for a comfortable life.
When I am exhausted and can no longer feed the greed engine, I will be discarded and replaced, worn out for what purpose I ask, the best years passed by, hindsight is a beautiful future lived in the past, a day dream that I can no longer regret, I should have stepped off the wheel, when my dreams could have been loved and lived, weary of futile work serving the corperate machine, that nourishes the few but wastes the many.
I have had too many years of doing big favours, for the businesses I have served, I have gained nothing from doing favours, I have lost time to live breathe and love, you call again asking for a big favour, this time I cannot oblige, because time is limited for me and priceless, I will waste no more of my precious time, making you rich and me weary.
Opening my heart to all that is draws me closer to spirit, I give thanks for the new day, conscious and alive the new day, brings blessings in abundance, my mind becomes the open unwritten book, I am the creator within the magical genesis of creation, breeze blowing through the trees, connects me to the energy of life, and love of all that is, closer to spirit I am aware.
I offer myself in service to all that is, that I may always work towards the greatest and highest good for all, who seek to be closer to spirit, seeking the greatest and highest good from within myself, manifesting unconditional love my heart full to the brim, I walk with spirit a vocation, a calling, my reason for being, closer to spirit.
I saw a white horse today making me aware of its presence, is this a sign of future or tests passed, white horse you are the bridge between physical and spiritual, a bridge that I must cross, to reach greater understanding of my service, to help those in spirit to cross the bridge, and communicate their truth with us here on earth, white horse are you a unicorn I feel you are, but can see no horn I become aware that you have the heart of a unicorn, guiding the way for healing between earth and sky, may I find humility and focus to be the bridge between earth and sky.
Stephen Rowlands 25/06/18
I have currently been undergoing a massive life change, I have moved in with my girlfriend Veronica, so what you may think but after 8 years of single life, this was a massive step for me, to make a commitment to live forever with a lady, with the possibility of it all going horribly wrong, was very scary for me as I had become very comfortably single, and had created a very nice life for myself, having said all this with my spiritual knowledge I know that life is all about change, whether it be positive or negative change, it somehow guides the flow of life.
It has been said to me that it takes a lot of guts to do what I have done, especially with no job as I have moved areas as well as homes, yes I have taken a leap of faith that all will be well, I cannot live in the past with memories of all my failed relationships and dead end jobs, holding me back from any possibility of change or growth, life for me or anyone would just stagnate, I have now come into the simple realisation that the meaning of life is to live it, quite simply with all its trials and trap doors, we cannot be held back by past hurts that evolve into fears, tarring all newcomers into our lives with the same brush.
Life is a great teacher and we must be aware of the lessons life is teaching us, not only about what others did to us, and how angry bitter and twisted it has made us, but what in fact we were doing to life to create all these disasterous situations, for ourselves I have learned much over the last 8 years and finally listened to my teacher life, my spiritual knowledge tells me that we create our lives from within, which I know to be true, why are we so needy for love we will fall for the first handsome or pretty face, or those who promise to love us forever who end up using and abusing us, it is first and foremost the most important thing is to love ourselves, for how can we be loved by another if we cannot love ourselves.
By loving ourselves we discover what is acceptable or unacceptable to us, and we can use it as a guide to all newcomers into our lives, from past relationships we learn exactly what we don’t want, so if a handsome or pretty newcomer comes into our lives, protesting there eternal undying love and affection for us, but they start to display the things we don’t want or like, then we can keep our distance from them, relationships just like life are in a state of evolution, take time to get to know the newcomer, see if they truly live up to there words and our expectations of them, myself and Veronica have been together 11 months now, and we have worked through our fears and come together, we evolved through being truthful to each other and love, yes love is also honesty and truth, and through that honesty and truth and self love, we can become who we truly are life is about change and growth the only way we can achieve it, is to live a full life make or break to live and speak our truth through an open heart, life is the greatest journey of all let us not be bound by the past, but explorers of our undiscovered selves and life with the many many things in life to discover within ourselves and all the possibilities to create.
Stephen Rowlands 11/06/18
Sitting here on a late spring eve, relaxing with cold beer embracing the quietness, of this moment in the shire that I have grown so fond, the seas of life I have sailed, but now settled in this peaceful breaking twilight, my harbour my home I celebrate the journey of life so far, the storms that became inertia, always seeking a course to navigate, it does not matter as I celebrate this life.