Christmas is a time when memories of Christmas past, come to the forefront of the mind, Christmas 2010 was to be a Christmas Day of great change for me, although I felt it was my worst time, it was actually the best time of my life, although my life was in tatters, hopes and dreams crushed I felt so abandoned, as if washed up on a sea shore my ship of life wrecked, cast out and alone a mere image of what I once was, I have written much of this time, but as I was looking through my facebook memories, my status for 27/12/10 was “A new journey begins letting go of the past, and embracing a new life”.
All roads lead to somewhere in this life, dependant on the pathway we choose to walk, I have realised that spirit can see the bigger picture of our lives, especially when our faces are in the dirt, and we feel broken and lost, it is most important to be true to ourselves, have faith in ourselves as the true path we wish to walk, will open up to us, the last 8 years have been a amazing time of development, to become we must first grow, I grew by unloading all my mental and emotional crap, becoming at peace with myself yes loving myself, walking a spiritual pathway as a healer and medium, all the progress I have made in life, has taken 8 years we live in a instant world, but inner development to effect progession in our outer world takes time, small steps are required to be taken, by those who seek to develop and progress, be prepared for a journey of soul searching and realisation, a journey of healing and enlightenment, not instant gratification and results, feeling very pleased with myself in 2016, my head and heart were in the best place they had been in years, but I had a question that needed to be answered, would I ever find a lady to truly love, to spend the rest of my days with, I did wonder if I was meant to walk my life pathway alone, but decided to try one last time.
I joined Match.Com yes a dating site you may scoff, but the ladies were not exactly kicking my front door down to date me, I had been on the dating site for almost a year, and was about to delete my account, most of the ladies I spoke to had more baggage than Heathrow, wanted someone a lot wealthier than myself, or turned there nose up at me because of my spiritualism, I was also losing weight due to my diet, and posting images of my slimmer self to the dating site, interest did pick up a bit, but as I said the interest was from all the wrong ladies, one night in June 17 I decided to end my time with Match.Com, when I logged in I noticed I had a wink from a lady, the lady was in fact my Veronica after a couple of weeks texting and chatting, we agreed to meet 13/07/17, I am very empathic and I immediately sensed from Veronica, the warmth and beauty of her heart, this is the girl I am looking for I thought, we clicked and started dating each other, although I lived in Slough and she in Winchester, the distance did not matter, as I know now we were truly falling in love, and we would take it in turns to visit each other when we were not working.
My Veronica August 2017
But living apart and distance did eventually become a problem, as it was becoming harder and harder to leave each other, when our visits came to an end, we had talked of moving in together, I used to say to Veronica it is a nice thought, but it is very scary in practice, and I did not want another life disaster on my hands, if it all went wrong, also giving up my flat in Slough would be a real wrench for me, as I loved my flat it was a lifeboat for me, to heal and rebuild my life, but as our feelings for each other grew. and absence from each other got harder and harder, we finally decided to make a home together, after a lot of talk about whom was moving in with who, myself and Veronica decided that I would move to Hampshire with her, I spoke to my mother and got her blessing, my mother said to me “it would be good for me to get out of the rat race, and into the country” on 08/06/18 I moved to Winchester to live with Veronica, now looking back today 01/01/19, it is the best move I ever made, a real leap of faith but I have landed safely on my feet, myself and Veronica plan to marry in September 19, since moving to Winchester we also use our home as a spiritual centre, I have named Spirit Divine for healing, readings, workshops, and demonstrations of trance, also I am serving new churches, some that I used to serve back in the day, I feel so very blessed today and so glad I took the small steps, inwardly and outwardly to where I am today, although we cannot always see the bigger picture, small steps towards our goals are the answer enjoy the journey, 2018 was a master year, to take charge and put in place everything we want in life, and I feel I have mostly achieved that, and I am very happy to share this with you all.
I am not really sure how to tell you this part of my spiritual journey, as it is not a talked about or researched subject, but is worthy of further investigation for our understanding of, the progression of our spirit after physical death, we always say a nasty, wicked, or evil person will go to hell, when they pass over into spirit, and a good person will go to heaven, and be surrounded by angels when they pass over to spirit, there is a lot of truth in this analogy, because our spirit is what we truly are, spirit guides have told me that we create our own heaven or hell in spirit, by our thoughts, emotions, and actions, here on the earth plane.
Our spirit is energy a consciousness that survives physical death, there are many levels of consciousness within the world of spirit, that we rise or fall to upon the event of our physical death, consciousness can only exist in a level that is vibrating at the same frequency as itself, like attracts like hence why there are many levels of spirit, within the human race there are many different levels of understanding, and this reflects through to the spirit world as above so below.
It is spirits that find themselves on a low level of spirit, that need healing to rise towards the light, and ascend to a higher level of spirit, they are at a low level for many reasons, mainly for dark emotions, thoughts, actions, and deeds on the earth plane, whereby they have selfishly put there own needs above others, or they feel they still have things to do here on the earth plane, to right wrongs or to gain forgiveness from someone living in the physical, or they have died suddenly at an accident or by the hand of another, and they still feel the pain and fear of there physical death, or they simply do not know they have physically died especially if sudden death or they had no knowledge or belief in a afterlife, or believe that there is nothing after physical life, we carry our emotions thoughts and deeds over to spirit as above so below, and they stay close to the earth plane vibrating at a dense physical level.
Spirit vibrating at a low level will come to us for help to help them raise their vibration, and to be guided towards the light there are also spirit guides, that work to help low level spirit to ascend to the light, rescue work circles here on the earth plane work along side spirit guides, and are devoted to helping low level spirit to ascend to the light and higher vibration, and this is where my story begins, back in 1978 when I first started to explore spiritualism, I was sitting for spiritual development and very open to spirit, I had 3 dreams over a period of a few months, each dream was set in a graveyard at night.
The first dream I was walking in a graveyard, and had a very strong sense that I must look for and find one particular grave, I did not know which grave but knew I had to find a grave, although in my dream it was night time, there was a light permeating through the darkness turning my surroundings, to a sort of dark blue and grey, I remember thinking in the dream what am I doing here, but I knew I really must find this grave, although I did not know why I must find the grave, eventually I came across this very large grave, with a stone plinth and a sculptured head of a man on it, with like three stone serrated rails over the grave meeting in the middle above the grave, I stood looking at the grave for awhile and then the eyes on the head opened, I woke up in the physical screaming and terrified.
The second dream was the same graveyard with me having. a very strong urge to find this grave, although with some trepidation as the last dream terrified me, I thought is this a lucid dream, as I know I am back in the same graveyard looking for a grave, that I know there is something evil about it, telling myself to be strong I pressed on, I found the grave the eyes on the head opened, it opened it’s mouth and a real deep loud drone come out of it’s mouth, everything seemed to vibrate I woke up terrified and screaming, although I was now conscious in my bed at home, I questioned my dream was it a lucid nightmare, could I have changed the dream and dreamt of something much more pleasant.
In the third dream I was joined by a boy and a girl, they were about my age late teens, they told me they were going to help me find the grave, this is very strange I thought why would they want to be here with me in my dream, they asked me what I would do when we found the grave, I said to them I do not know the grave terrifys me, it moves and talks I really do not know why I keep coming back here, we found the grave but it was in a different place, and was very different to how it had appeared before, it was close to the church and it was like a brick box with a gravestone laid on top, and on top of that was the stone head, surrounding the grave was an old black railing pointed with pointed rails, the girl asked me do you know who is buried here, I said I do not know but there must be a reason for me to keep coming back here, at that point the stone head turned round to face me, and in a deep mans voice spoke my name, once again I woke up screaming and terrified.
The question for me was why I had the three dreams, what was the purpose and reason for me having three dreams about a grave in a graveyard, and who were the young boy and girl, a few months went by and one evening, I was sitting in Berenice Watts development circle, for the meditation she asked us to walk down a Victorian street, I visualized a Victorian street and in my visualisation it was night time, I tried to visualise the Victorian street scene in daylight, but it kept going back to night, so I just stayed with night there were theatres to my left all lit up, and Victorian ladies and gentlemen dressed in there finery, walking up and down the street, it was a fun happy feeling of people out for entertainment and fun, across the road there was a graveyard, I immediately knew it was the graveyard in my three dreams.
Surrounding the graveyard were black pointed railings, there was a large gold building, all lit up with lights shining on it, inset into the outer wall was red square with gold trim, the people walking down the street seemed to be celebrating the fact the gold building was there, on the pavement outside the gold building stood a Victorian gentleman, with top hat a black beard wearing formal evening dress, he was staring right at me, I felt this is strange why is he staring at me I also felt glued to the spot, but also that me and the Victorian gentleman were all to do with this gold building and feeling of celebration, Berenice called us back into the room to interpret our meditations, I described my meditation to Berenice and told her about my three dreams, and that I strongly felt the gold building was the grave in the 3 dreams, Berenice explained to me that I had been used by spirit to help raise a spirit from the grave, because there are spirits who come into the physical earth vibration, and do not learn and grow whilst attached to the physical body, and lead a very negative life in the physical, when the physical body dies they cannot see a way out and stay attached to the physical body, she felt the Victorian gentleman was the spirit who was helped into the higher light vibration, the atmosphere of celebration was the Victorian gentleman, being welcomed into the higher realms of spirit, the gold building was the symbol of the spirit being raised from the grave. the teenage boy and girl in my dream were spirit helpers, sent to help me raise this spirit, myself in spirit form has a strong living physical earth vibration, and this was of use to spirit to help raise the spirit from the grave.
Think of my story what you will, it was all very real for me and at times very frightening, at the time of the three dreams I had not been taught to close down, and was being used by spirit to do rescue work, as was done with the Victorian gentleman, spiritualism and especially Berenice Watts gave me answers to questions, and helped me to understand and control what was happening to me, the one thing I learned from this, apart from spiritual protection is what we do in life, our thoughts emotions and actions echoe in eternity as above so below.