Small Steps All Roads Lead To Somewhere

Christmas is a time when memories of Christmas past, come to the forefront of the mind, Christmas 2010 was to be a Christmas Day of great change for me, although I felt it was my worst time, it was actually the best time of my life, although  my life was in tatters, hopes and dreams crushed I felt so abandoned, as if washed up on a sea shore my ship of life wrecked, cast out and alone a mere image of what I once was, I have written much of this time, but as I was looking through my facebook memories, my status for 27/12/10 was “A new journey begins letting go of the past, and embracing a new life”.

All roads lead to somewhere in this life, dependant on the pathway we choose to walk, I have realised that spirit can see the bigger picture of our lives, especially when our faces are in the dirt, and we feel broken and lost, it is most important to be true to ourselves, have faith in ourselves as the true path we wish to walk, will open up to us, the last 8 years have been a amazing time of development, to become we must first grow, I grew by unloading all my mental and emotional crap, becoming at peace with myself yes loving myself, walking a spiritual pathway as a healer and medium, all the progress I have made in life, has taken 8 years we live in a instant world, but inner development to effect progession in our outer world takes time, small steps are required to be taken, by those who seek to develop and progress, be prepared for a journey of soul searching and realisation, a journey of healing and enlightenment, not instant gratification and results, feeling very pleased with myself in 2016, my head and heart were in the best place they had been in years, but I had a question that needed to be answered, would I ever find a lady to truly love, to spend the rest of my days with, I did wonder if I was meant to walk my life pathway alone, but decided to try one last time.

I joined Match.Com yes a dating site you may scoff, but the ladies were not exactly kicking my front door down to date me, I had been on the dating site for almost a year, and was about to delete my account, most of the ladies I spoke to had more baggage than Heathrow, wanted someone a lot wealthier than myself, or turned there nose up at me because of my spiritualism, I was also losing weight due to my diet, and posting images of my slimmer self to the dating site, interest did pick up a bit, but as I said the interest was from all the wrong ladies, one night in June 17 I decided to end my time with Match.Com, when I logged in I noticed I had a wink from a lady, the lady was in fact my Veronica after a couple of weeks texting and chatting, we agreed to meet 13/07/17, I am very empathic and I immediately sensed from Veronica, the warmth and beauty of her heart, this is the girl I am looking for I thought, we clicked and started dating each other, although I lived in Slough and she in Winchester, the distance did not matter, as I know now we were truly falling in love, and we would take it in turns to visit each other when we were not working.

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My Veronica August 2017

But living apart and distance did eventually become a problem, as it was becoming harder and harder to leave each other, when our visits came to an end, we had talked of moving in together, I used to say to Veronica it is a nice thought, but it is very scary in practice, and I did not want another life disaster on my hands, if it all went wrong, also giving up my flat in Slough would be a real wrench for me, as I loved my flat it was a lifeboat for me, to heal and rebuild my life, but  as our feelings for each other grew. and absence from each other got harder and harder, we finally decided to make a home together, after a lot of talk about whom was moving in with who, myself and Veronica decided that I would move to Hampshire with her, I spoke to my mother and got her blessing, my mother said to me “it would be good for me to get out of the rat race, and into the country” on 08/06/18 I moved to Winchester to live with Veronica, now looking back today 01/01/19, it is the best move I ever made, a real leap of faith but I have landed safely on my feet, myself and Veronica plan to marry in September 19, since moving to Winchester we also use our home as a spiritual centre, I have named Spirit Divine for healing, readings, workshops, and demonstrations of trance, also I am serving new churches, some that I used to serve back in the day, I feel so very blessed today and so glad I took the small steps, inwardly and outwardly to where I am today, although we cannot always see the bigger picture, small steps towards our goals are the answer enjoy the journey, 2018 was a master year, to take charge and put in place everything we want in life, and I feel I have mostly achieved that, and I am very happy to share this with you all. 

 

 

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Thank You For Reading

Stephen Rowlands 01/01/19

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ghosts

Inspired to take a walk on this fine sunny autumn day, with all good intentions I walk the canal toe path, to the chrysalis of my beginnings in langley, deeply inhaling the air of life, exhaling the stresses of working life, seeking my better and higher self, I used to walk this path in my youth,to visit friends or to be a marine cadet at T.S. Lion. Revisiting my memories was not my intention, we walk with our memories throughout our lifespan, awaiting in mind to torture or celebrate in heart.  Realising it is best to make good memories in the present, so my memories of now, will not become a heavy burden in the future.

The autumn sun shines brightly magnifying the colours of autumn leaves, the landscape has changed around here, there are now businesses and homes along the canal, where once were fields 

 

The peace and beautiful serenity of nature brings vibrant energy to my soul, in stark contrast to the industrial town that surrounds it, man and mother nature reside together happily in this place, we the human race are mother natures children, she gave birth to us all, we are her spoiled children as we take  from her, and pollute our mothers love.

Walking up the path to the bridge the Deseronto Wharf, where I once worked at Bryce Whites Timber Yard, has now gone but the office building has survived time, Lindley Thompsons is now a business park, walking over the railway bridge, I stand with my memories, back in time looking at the place I  once called home.

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Perhaps this is the purpose of my journey today, to revisit my past and make peace with my memories, I see my nan looking out of the window, waiting for me to come home for lunch, The Gulley where we once played now flattened, swings and roundabouts now replace rusty old cars, the giants hill, the three wise old apple trees. Old Hobi the tramp who slept in Grandads pigsty, old nelson the chicken who we loved and ate one Sunday, my Grandad owned the gulley my Dad, family, and friends, built our bungalow, a great place to grow up and I feel blessed to have grown here. The Chesntuts pub across the road the social hub of our community, where we drank to celebrate our success or maudlin in our sorrows, my classroom from boy to man, as I walk down St Marys Road, I see myself as a schoolboy walking with mum for my first day at Langley Marish School.

The Almshouses built in 1649 where my dad did maintenance, a ceiling collapsed revealing the original mud and horse hair ceiling, and a rusty 17th century 9 inch nail, St Marys Church so many memories of family and friends weddings, christenings, and funerals.

I visit my nan and grandads grave, telling them of my life and wishing they were still with us, I would love to know what they think of me now, so many emotions and memories swirling within me, that I did not realise I could feel and see all this at once, I stop by The Chestnuts for a drink, no one did I know or recognise for we are all old now, realising now that time has passed and I am now a stranger, in the place I once called home. Night has nearly fallen as I walk the canal toe path, to the place I now call home, the love of spirit embraces me reminding me, that ghosts are memories, spirit is eternal, our home is with God, and in time all things change in our world.

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THANKYOU FOR THE LESSONS