Wondering how to write about my 35 years of service to spirit, I cannot remember everything in chronological order, but I have many memories, and often find myself relaying those memories to others, by saying I will tell you a story, a story that fits in with the conversation at the time, and hopefully inspires and teaches at the same time, so now with this blog I will relay to you my memories, and I really hope you enjoy reading my story.

During my time of sitting in development circle and attending Slough Spiritualist Church, there were a few people who would encourage me, on my spiritual pathway as a developing healer and medium, but there were also a few who saw me as a complete upstart, due to my young age and inexperience of life, there was a lot of talk about me some to my face and some behind my back, as to my suitability to become a platform medium, and unfortunately some would speak unkindly about me to the demonstrating medium that evening, two mediums I remember in particular were Marjorie Nolan and Mrs Weekes, Marjorie Nolan said to me one evening from the platform, that I was not spiritually gifted at all and maybe in 10 years time, I maybe able to pick up a glimmer of something from spirit, and to stop wasting spirits energy, and that I would never be good enough to work on the platform, the church was full everyone looking at me as she tore my character and my personality to shreds, with a very smug looking Frank the church president smirking at me, I was 19 years old and I felt totally decimated when I left the church that evening, Mrs Weekes was just plain horrid to me on and off the platform, one time  outside of the church, she asked me my star sign, I told her my star sign was Gemini, she then ripped into me telling me all that was negative about being a Gemini, the real dark side of the star sign and she told me that the dark side of Gemini was me.

One evening I walked into church and sitting in the foyer, was the lovely medium Mrs Brotherton, a medium who always demonstrated with a lot of humour, as her spirit guides would always show her pies and sausages floating above peoples heads, Frank the church president was arguing with a lady about me, saying that I would never make a platform medium, the lady arguing in my defence saying how would you know he has a lot of life ahead of him, I did not know what to say so I went into the church and sat down, although I was angry with Frank for talking about me in that way, during the demonstration of mediumship Mrs Brotherton came to me with a message from spirit, telling me I was very gifted and one day a door would open, and all my gifts would be waiting for me, and many people would come to watch and listen to me, and through the gifts of spirit great teaching healing and upliftment would be given through me, I was obviously over the moon with the message, I had received from spirit as it was a endorsement of my spiritual pathway, and service to spirit, also wiping the smug smirk off Frank’s face was pure gold, although 39 years later I have not reached the state of development that spirit spoke of that night, I live in the knowledge that life is a process of spiritual development, and all will come at the right time if I continue to develop, so I say to all young and old know in your heart that you wish to serve spirit, stay within your truth and go as far as spirit wish to take you, I knew within my own heart that I had found my niche in life, and serving spirit from the platform was something that I was going to do, no amount of criticism was going to deter me from my purpose and pathway.  


In 1982 I had not sat for spiritual development for 2 years, my spirit guides were constantly saying to me, “We want to work through you on the platform” this nagging went on and on, until finally I gave up and said to them “OK I GIVE UP YOU WIN, I WILL WORK ON THE PLATFORM, BUT IF I MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF, ITS ALL YOUR FAULT.” And I started writing to local churches, offering myself to serve their churches on the platform. As I had not opened to spirit for a couple of years, except to send out absent healing , or channel healing in the healing sanctuary, I needed to re establish my link with spirit, so I joined a open development circle, at Slough Spiritualist Church. The circle was run by a guy called Harry and his lady wife, I have never liked open circles as I feel they are dangerous, because people can come and go on a weekly basis, so the energies change, a lot because of this also you don’t know what level of spirit people are bringing in with them, but this open circle had a few regular sitters, so it should be ok to sit, and attune my mediumship with spirit again.

We sat typically male female next to each other, to balance the energies the idea being, that the male energy would protect the female energy, if a lower form spirit got into the circle. I was sat next to a young lady named Sue, every week she would bring through in trance, a spirit claiming to be Mary Queen of Scots. But something did not feel right with this spirit, so I went along to Langley Library, and researched the life of Mary Queen of Scots, now armed with the necessary information, I went along to open circle to check this spirit out, but methinks this spirit was one step ahead of me, and was aware of my plans to check her or it out. As we sat I spoke to the spirit, as it was coming through Sue in trance, Sue’s head was turned to face me, her eyes were big and jet black her face contorted with anger, the vibration of rage, became stronger and stronger in the room. As this spirit was moving Sue’s head to look at other sitters, the spirit seemed to be linking with other sitters, because as soon as she had looked at them, the sitters were overcome by a strong feeling of nausea, a couple of people started vomiting.

My breathing got deeper and deeper, it was my Zulu guide Zangu, starting to come through me in trance, I was very happy for Zangu to come through, and allowed him to do so, as I had no idea of how to get rid of this evil spirit. Through me in trance Zangu, cut the energy lines between the evil spirit and the sitters, people were starting to recover, then Zangu turned me towards Sue and the evil spirit, and channeling very powerful energy through me, looking out of myself I could see lots of different coloured, beams of light shooting out of me, reds, yellows, blues, coming from me and into Sue’s aura, to expel the evil spirit from her, a couple of minutes later the evil spirit was expelled from Sue, and sent back to wherever it came from. Zangu stepped back from me but my oriental guide Sun Si Sin, stepped into me in trance, and spoke through me to the circle about protection, he reminded the circle to make sure the circle was protected, as well as each sitter should make sure they are protected, as there are low level spirit that are attracted to the light of the circle, and will want to attach themselves to the sitters, as was the case with the so called Mary Queen of Scots.


My oriental guide stood back and I regained my senses, Harry then appeared to go into “trance,” and he said virtually what my oriental guide had said, I was a bit put out by this, but hey ho each to there own, I was glad the circle and sitters were safe. I was also perturbed by the lack of understanding, for the need of spiritual protection, as it had been drummed into me at Berenice’s circle, I had put my protection in place during the opening prayer, that is why I was unaffected by the low level spirit, which was good really as someone with protection, and strong spirit guides was there to sort the situation out. I only needed this circle to regain my attunement to spirit, so would only stay in it for as long as was necessary.


On another evening in Harry’s open circle, he wanted to try out new things with us, so he asked each of us to bring in a personal item, so we could do psychometry on each others items, and give readings from the items, for those who do not know what psychometry is, everything is energy and energy has its own vibrational frequency, so everything we wear or touch, we imprint our own vibrational frequency on it. those who are sensitive and can read and understand vibration, are very good at psychometry, you could give someone a reading off their socks if necessary, simply because the wearer had imprinted their vibration onto the socks, I do get some funny looks when I say that but it is true. I had already done some psychometry in Berenice’s circle, so was happy to do psychometry again, as it would help with my attunement, as being able to read vibration as a medium is very important. As spirit do communicate a lot with emotion, and yes our emotions have their own vibrational frequency, to as I said everything is energy.

I was handed a silver pocket watch by Hannah one of the sitters, as I held the pocket watch in my hand, within my minds eye I could see an old man digging up cabbages, I felt strongly the old man was Hannah’s Grandfather, and that he had trouble with his knees in life, I relayed this information to Hannah, and she confirmed the watch belonged to her Grandfather, and that he had an allotment, and one of her memories of him, was of him digging up cabbages on his allotment. I was pleased I was able to pick this information up, and connect Hannah with her Grandfather, I passed the pocket watch back to her, and she gasped I said what’s a matter, she said this watch has not worked for years but now its working, and sure enough the pocket watch was ticking away, I cannot say why the watch started working, after years of not working, but it confirms to me Hannah’s Grandfather was with her.

I left Harry’s circle a few weeks later, as I felt it had served its purpose, my attunement to spirit had been regained on a mediumnistic level, on 5th January 1983 I did my first ever solo platform, at Slough Spiritualist Church, this was a big test for me and spirit, for me to prove to myself and others, that I am a platform medium, and for spirit to back there mouth up and work through me on platform, as they had been nagging me to do, for the previous 2 years the night was a success, and I was now assured that spirit truly wanted to work through me on platform, doing public demonstrations of mediumship.

I was approached by Ann Pert a stalwart of Slough Spiritualist Church, and medium of 40 plus years, a sweet but very strong lady who was in her mid eighties, to demonstrate mediumship for her spiritualist group at the old Slough library, I was very honoured to be asked by Ann to serve her group, as she was a knowledgeable and respected medium, as I was in between  jobs at the time, I agreed to serve spirit at her group on a Wednesday afternoon, the Wednesday afternoon came along the meeting was held in a large room on the second floor of the library, I walked in and there was Ann with around 30 pensioners sitting in a circle, Ann then dropped the bombshell, that she expected everyone to get a message from spirit, I told her I did not think I would be able to give everyone a message, but would certainly give it a try, after the opening prayer I commenced to give messages from spirit, the energy was very strong that day, and we managed to give everyone a short message from spirit, although afterwards I was very tired and mentally drained, there was one old gentleman who has remained in my memory since that day, alas I cannot remember his name but during his message, spirit were talking to him about his automatic writing, for those who do not know what automatic writing is, it is where spirit guide the hand of the channel, to write the words they wish to communicate, afterwards he struck up a conversation with me about his automatic writing, as I remember a very interesting conversation, as he had been automatic writing for years, he visited me at my home a couple of times to show me his automatic writing, he had thousands of pages of writing containing teaching and messages from spirit, if only it could have been made into a book, it could have helped so many understand the workings of spirit life and the universe, a lovely man and a true servant of spirit, I will always remember him, 

I began writing to churches to see if they would book me to serve them as a platform medium, back in the day before email and facebook that’s how we did it, to get cancellation work last minute bookings when the serving medium, could not demonstrate that evening, one of the first churches that got back to me was Maidenhead Spiritualist  Church, as the medium had cancelled for that evening, she told me that she had tried ten other mediums, but they were unavailable so we thought we would try you, at the time I used to walk right in front of the person to give them their message from spirit, this led to a few complaints as people in the congregation, liked to see and hear the medium from the front not twisting their necks around to see the medium, I replied that’s how I work, I was told they were happy with the work done that evening, but if I wished to serve their church again, I had to learn to speak from the front of the church,  so from that day on with my guides we learned to give messages from the front of the church, although the energy seemed weaker from the front, but it gradually grew stronger and it was a very valuable lesson for me to learn.

I learned in Berenice’s circle to take my shoes off when working with spirit, for earth power, as spirit are a form of energy, that we have not learned how to record and measure as yet, but it was best to be earthed for safety reasons, as you have an earth on an electric plug. And to draw natural power from the earth, so I went around the church platforms, demonstrating mediumship not wearing my shoes, I became known as the medium who takes his shoes off, one night at Hayes Spiritualist Church, I kept my shoes on as the church had been flooded, and the floor was still wet, I was concerned I might get a bit of trench foot, but was also concerned blocking earth power may affect my link with spirit, but my need to protect my feet won, I went onto the platform and demonstrated mediumship, the demonstration went well, and after the demonstration a guy sitting in a wheelchair with no legs approached me. He said to me “my guides are telling me you should keep your shoes off when on the platform” he had never seen me demonstrate before, and had no knowledge of me not wearing my shoes whilst demonstrating, WOW I thought what a way to teach me, spirit send  me a man with no legs to tell me to keep my shoes off, I will never ever forget how spirit got the message to me, that night and often use that memory, to teach students how spirit work.

I met a lot of lovely people at Hayes Spiritualist Church, and I have fond memories of them all, particularly Bert, and Rocky, Margaret Hanks, Anne Walker, Annie, Ida Escott, Derek Thurlbeck, and Mark Deville. I remember one night giving Derek Thurlbeck a message from platform, his Egyptian guide was telling him via me, he was going to move away from mediumship and teach spiritual philosophy, the world had enough mediums it needed more teachers. Derek was very put out about this message, and he approached me angrily after the service he said to me, ” I am going to be a medium, I am meant to be a medium not a philosopher, you got that all wrong.” I replied “we shall see” 10 years later I was at a church somewhere, and a person said to me “do you know Derek Thurlbeck” I replied yes I know him the person, told me Derek had now given up his mediumship, and was teaching philosophy, well blow me down I replied, I told Derek 10 years ago he would be doing philosophy, and he did not believe me, teaching me we should never doubt what spirit tell us, because they can see the bigger picture a lot more than we can.


One of the platform mediums of the day who I really admired, and looked up to was Derek Markwell, very energetic, funny, and a great communicator for spirit, I suppose I actually took on some of his style when demonstrating, because the way he would communicate the address and spirit messages, in a down to earth way would really touch people on a heart level, raising the energy and vibration making spirit communication so much easier, for spirit and Derek as the channel, rather than some of the more flowery monotone mediums of the day, his services were very uplifting for all those who attended.

I was serving Ashford Spiritualist Church one summers evening in 1986, it was a Sunday service, I was met by Sheila a lady who I knew from Bracknell Spiritualist Church, she informed me that Derek Markwell who was now sadly suffering from MS and his lady wife were to be present for the service, can you imagine my delight and terror knowing one of my platform heroes, would actually be sitting in the congregation watching me demonstrate mediumship, and the thought of Derek being in the congregation quite honestly terrified me, it was like all my spiritual development and myself were under the microscope, as Derek Markwell was a medium who I truly respected,  as I stepped up to the platform I took my jacket off to hang over the chair, swung my jacket round from my shoulder and knocked a vase of flowers flying, smashing the vase and flowers on the floor, “Oh Shame Where Is Thy Blush” I really wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, I could not apologise enough, the congregation erupted in laughter and I was hoping the destroyed flowers were not a bad omen for the service.

From experience myself and my spirit guides settled quickly to regain our link, as it is the quality of the communication that is paramount, not the mediums embarrassment, it came the time to give the inspired address, I looked at Derek and he looked back at me with so much support in his eyes it was very humbling for me I looked at my guides and said to them “Lets Do It” and we carried on after the service, Sheila came to me and said to me “Derek wants to speak with you” OMG I thought he is going to tell me I’m crap, and that I was under developed to be a platform medium, as he struggled to walk towards me on his walking sticks, I said to Derek “its ok Derek I will come to you” he replied Its ok son I will come to you, he walked up to me looked me straight in the eye and said, “you carry on son great service you carry on” I was absolutely relieved he did not tell me off, and it was so amazing to be encouraged by one of my peers, I told him he was one of my heroes and that I had always admired his work, he said don’t be daft son we do what we do for spirit, I will always treasure this memory.    



My Thoughts On Modern Spiritualism


Sitting here  just breathing and being my thoughts come alive, and I will think out loud and share with you whatever my thoughts may be, well life has led me this far, and I must say I am very happy with where my head and heart is at right now, and the four walls I dwell within, it is a day I wish time would stand still just for now, as everything is just perfect here in my little flat, as I reflect on my life and look out into the future, many lessons are coming to me right now, the lessons I need for my future direction and path.

After much nagging I now realise I must adapt to the new spiritual scene, now an industry not a pathway of service, but even in this modern day spirit will use whatever medium they can to transmit, universal truth whether it be church or centre, as a medium I should have enough awareness, to be able to communicate to all levels of understanding, and in this new era I should be able to communicate, the truth in a way that people can understand, but it all seems to be all so ego based.  

Today’s spiritual scene seems to be more about marketing, than service to spirit and all, today celebrity status is the aim, in my day humility in service a spirit teaching, was our guide hundreds of miles we drove in all weathers, to serve spirit and demonstrate our mediumship, for petrol money now the bigger celebrity we are the bigger percentage we can take from the door, turning spirit into a industry means it has become status and profit driven, a lot of people criticise us old school mediums for doing it for expenses, but we did it for the love of spirit and our spiritual purpose to serve humankind, once we take the love out of service, it is then all about status profit and loss.


I understand that spirit need to communicate there message, to as many as possible, the spiritualist church is now dying a death, with attendance levels dropping, and churches closing due to lack of interest, the new spiritual industry is catering for those who want spirit without religion, which is fine as the universe of spirit does not have religion, and spirit rarely refer to what we term as god, what spirit do wish to communicate to us all, is the teachings of eternal life not death and how it all works, but this has all been shoved into the background, with proving evidence of survival repeatedly, to the same people over and over again.

Once evidence of survival after physical death is proven, do we really need it to be proven over and over again, or are we just testing the mediums, when I sat in spiritual development circle the spirit guide Li came through Ian in trance, he told us evidence of survival is needed for the newcomer to prove the existence of life after death, after that the newcomer can then begin there journey, of learning about universal life and the way of life, here on earth spirit want to teach, now spirit guides are shunned in churches and centres, and evidence of survival has become the mantra, at the cost of spiritual teaching spirit guides have so much to offer us, to develope spiritually to become better people, more at peace with ourselves and to lead better lives.

Loved ones in spirit who communicate there survival after physical death, sharing memories and giving advice to there loved ones on the earth plane, via a medium does bring much needed comfort and support to the bereaved,  so evidence of survival does have its place, in a demonstration of mediumship as the whole aim of spiritual mediumship, is to bring upliftment to people in need, messages  from spirit guides are very much frowned upon, I myself and other mediums have been banned from churches, for communicating messages from spirit guides, as the general consensus is that they are not evidential, which is rubbish in my view when a spirit guide communicates to a person, what exactly  is going on in there life, and descriptions of the personalities in there life, and the mental emotional and physical state of the person, that by its very nature is evidential because the medium, would not know that information about the person, so where did he/she get that information from, and to me this is also very much evidence of a afterlife.

Way back in the 1990’s I was serving spirit at Hampton on the Hill Spiritualist Church, the messages were all from spirit guides, but one particular message to a young man in his late 20’s early 30’s, was from Archangel Gabriel and Archangel Michael, they were telling the young man that he had got in with the wrong crowd, and it was destroying him at a soul level, and the Archangels gave the young man advice on how to free himself from this situation, that could possibly destroy his soul, and his soul could end up in eternal darkness, if he didn’t free himself of this condition, after the service the resident medium was very angry with me, shouting at me because I did not give evidence of survival, the booking secretary looking very disgusted said you were recommended to us, and you did not prove survival we wont be booking you again, my reply was I am here to bring upliftment to people from spirit  not prove survival, at that point the young man who I had given the message from the Archangels to, came out shaking my hands vigorously, he could not thank me enough for the message, he told me he was trying to escape from satanism, and he could not thank me enough for the power and wisdom that had been given to him from the Archangels, during his message the Archangels had told him how to link with them, to help him out of this condition and to protect him, I turned to the resident medium and booking secretary, and I said ”  there you go upliftment through service to angels and spirit, I do not want to serve your narrow minded church, up yours ” rude I know but hey ho.

By censoring angels and spirit as to what we allow them to communicate at public demontrations, is a real crime in my view how can you gag the eternal, how can you gag the teachings of a eternal way of life, angels guides and loved ones are all welcome to communicate there truths through me, by doing this I feel I am communicating fully, to bring the maximum upliftment to all who needs it, and I am very aware that as much as we miss our loved ones in spirit, they miss us to so connecting them with there loved ones on the earth plane, is a very loving service for me as a channel for spirit to do, but let us allow angels and spirit guides there voice, as they make us aware of the bigger picture,  as I have been serving spirit for 35 years doing public demonstrations of mediumship, I feel I have the right to my opinion.

received_195365207875990 My native American spirit guide Red Cloud

Stephen Rowlands 29/01/18




Fill Your Hearts With Love

I went along one evening to a spiritual development circle, run by my friend Kevin Trefry, he said to me your not going to sit there and do nothing, I want you to give the meditation. I was a bit put out by this as I was very tired, and in need of recharging, I just wanted to just sit and enjoy the closeness of spirit. And do some of the mediumship exercises with the students, as I feel it is important to keep developing, and to maintain and strengthen our links with spirit, so I asked my spirit guides, what would be the best meditation to give to the circle. My spirit guide Jerome a Franciscan Monk came forward, and said ask them, to draw unconditional love from God into there hearts, to fill there hearts with unconditional love.

After the opening prayer I asked the students, to visualise the love of God, coming from above in white light, filling their hearts with divine unconditional love. The meditation began, myself and Kevin watched over the students, after 10 minutes or so I called the students back from their meditation, and I asked them each in turn, what they experienced during the meditation, and they all felt very empowered, and a great connection to all things, The lesson in the meditation is that love is the power of all things and is our connection to all things. 

The next day Jerome came to me, and inspired me with a poem, from the previous nights meditation. And I posted his poem as a blog earlier this year,



Fast forward to 22/10/17, I was inspired to give Jeromes poem as a reading at the divine service Jennings Street Christian Spiritualist Church Swindon. The poem was well received by those in attendance, Jerome then went on to inspire me with the address from the poem, he inspired me to say that love is a choice, as everything in life is a choice, out of the vast range of emotions that we can feel, love is the emotion that we rarely choose, when we are faced with some form of adversity or negativity in life. We tend to rely on our base instincts such as anger, confusion, jealousy, a loss of self worth. When people are horrible to us, or we make a mistake in life through our choices in life, all this comes from our ego our pride kicks in, and we react seeking to hurt those who have hurt us, or anger when our plans go wrong, making the situation worst for ourselves and those around us.

Let us step onto the back foot rather than reacting with hurt, let us seek the solution to our problems with love, and ask ourselves what is the best solution to this problem with love, rather than always choosing our base instinct ego, to solve our problems, causing greater disharmony to the spirit of ourselves and others, when we think feel and act with love, we are connecting to our higher selves, our soul the true part of us, that lives within what we call God, whilst our spirit lives and learns through our minds and bodies, in this material world of the earth plane. Love is a great spectrum of all emotion, at its lowest level we have hatred, anger, greed, jealousy, avarice, sloth. at its highest level there is divine unconditional love.

We spirits who live and learn in this physical and material world, find ourselves going up and down the sliding scale, of the emotional spectrum of love, let love be our choice in all things, to heal our hurt feelings and calm negative situations, let love be our guide, not only with family and friends, but in all things and with all peoples, and in doing so we are putting ego in its place, and making life better for ourselves and all around us, helping us to find the inner peace we so often crave, when I first got into spiritualism, I was taught it is a big part of our spiritual development, to turn negative into positive that is why we are faced with negativity and adverse conditions at times, I truly believe we are here to learn how to love, that is our spiritual purpose for being here, the ascended masters who teach through the religions who adopted them, they all teach love its about time we all pricked up our ears, listened to the teachings of love from the masters, take those teachings within ourselves and live them, because surely we are all fed up with the terrible things that are going on around us and in the world, it needs us to make love, kindness, compassion, tolerance, Our way of life and truth.



Whilst writing this blog, I was taken back to the time when I used to sit on the back doorstep, at home in Langley my nan would be cooking Sunday dinner. I would be writing inspired notes for the address for the service that night, I have walked through 2 dark nights of the soul in life, and in the dark night I missed those times, but feel very blessed right now those times are now back. With me so I say to all who feel they are walking in darkness, be true to yourself, love yourself, love life no matter how dark it gets, and the sun will rise again.



Journey of the Lost Soul :Part 2 Spiritual Development.


Christian Spiritualism had opened its doors to me, and it was lovely to feel accepted, not strange or different. it was normal to see and sense not weird, I started to go to church, twice a week on a Wednesday and Sunday, as I was embracing this whole new world that was opening up to me. Seeing mediums pass messages to loved ones who were present, seeing the comfort, help, and upliftment, the messages were giving, to the people who were receiving them, I thought to myself I would like to be able to do that.

I had a inner feeling that I could possibly one day, progress into being a platform medium, serving Spirit and giving people upliftment, through the teachings and messages of Spirit. I was seeking something I could excel in,  where I could make my parents proud of me, although I was only 18 years old, I had not been much of a success at anything, I left school with a grade 5 cse English the school only gave me that certificate, so I did not leave school without any qualifications at all, I had no interest in school, and I must also admit to being very lazy. My laziness continued into working life in and out of jobs, and being constantly reminded by parents and family what a failure I was, I was seeking my niche in life where I could excel.


Spiritualism was providing me that niche, as I had a growing hunger for knowledge, of all spiritualism could teach me, back in 1978 the teachings of Spirit, were very much taught as a way of life, it was ok to make a mistake as long as you learned from that mistake, I was learning that this earth plane, that we all live on and share, is one big learning ground a school for the soul. I was learning about the levels of spirit, and that we as souls bring to this earth plane, many different levels of understanding. The reasoning for why we have so much conflict on our earth plane, from disagreements with family and friends to world war, from the liars, cheaters, the greedy for money and power, people who exert there will through violence. To those people who are peaceful, selfless, and loving. And all the levels of understanding between love and hate, it is here on this earth plane, that we come here to learn how to love unconditionally, love is a massive spectrum of emotion, from divine unconditional/universal love, at the top of the spectrum. To hatred greed anger jealousy at the bottom of the spectrum, and that our souls vibrate at varying levels of this spectrum, through our emotions and level of understanding. It was up to us who were aware, and walking a spiritual pathway, to have compassion, for those of a lesser understanding, and at times forgiveness for those of a lower level of understanding, and to live and speak our truth, with love and compassion. To sow the seeds of learning, for those souls of a lower understanding, the teachings of Spirit, are love kindness and compassion tolerance forgiveness, and that we who walk a spiritual pathway, are in service to everyone and everything.

The first thing I ever read in Slough Christian Spiritualist Church, was BE HUMBLE IN SERVICE, that one statement has been my guide throughout my spiritual service.

Over the next 3 months, mediums were telling me from the platform, I could develop into being a spiritual healer and medium, although I was seen as to young to become a medium, my Spirit Guides wished to use me as a powerhouse, this meant providing spiritual power, for the spiritual healer and his or her Spirit Guides. A power booster is the best way to describe it, I was invited by Brian North, to join him in the healing sanctuary to be the powerhouse, for him and his healing guides, this was a real step forward for me, and I was very excited about it. I was finally meeting spirit on a level playing field, to be able to embrace spirit, and to find out why they wanted to be around me, and make themselves known to me. The healing sanctuary has a blue light one end of the room, and a red light the other, I had already learned that blue was the main healing colour, I asked Brian why the red and blue lights, he replied it is easier to see spirit in this light, there was a table by the wall in the middle of the room, with religious icons on it and pictures of native American healing guides, and two chairs opposite each other in the middle of the room.


A lady entered the healing sanctuary, and sat down ready to receive healing, Brian asked me to sit in the other chair, and to imagine the lady in the chair with a blue light all around her, and to send my love to her in thought, Brian said a opening prayer invoking inviting spirit to come forward, and channel healing energy through him, the atmosphere within the sanctuary changed, it started to feel a bit warmer, it also felt like other people had entered the healing sanctuary, although I could not see them I could feel them beside me, and moving around the room moving around Brian. there was this growing energy within the sanctuary, a beautiful indescribable feeling of unconditional love, Brian’s breathing got a bit deeper and he put his hands over the ladies shoulders, as I shut my eyes I could feel my hands getting warmer and warmer, heat generating from the middle of my palms. this continued for approx. 20-30 minutes, although in that environment you do lose all track and sense of time, Brian then asked the lady if she felt ok she replied that she felt good, and also that she could feel another pair of hands moving over her, and that she felt much better. That was my first experience of giving spiritual healing, and I loved it and wanted to do it more and more. As time went on and the more I sat, in the healing sanctuary working as a powerhouse, for Brian and his healing guides, I was being mentally drawn to where peoples pain and illness was, on a physical level and I would tell people where they were hurting, although diagnosis is very frowned upon today, it was a perfectly normal thing to do back in 1978, and I agree we are not doctors so we shouldn’t be giving diagnosis, this was also the start of my third eye and mediumship awareness opening up.


I was also introduced to and encouraged to do absent healing, the easiest way to describe absent healing is prayer, when we break prayer down it is in actual fact thought, I was being taught that thought is energy and the most powerful thing within the universe, if we infuse our thoughts with love and send those thoughts to people, the energy of our loving thoughts can help them to heal, and asking God and healing guides, to give the healing that was necessary, so I started to give absent healing every Friday night from my bedroom at home, there was a lady at church called Sue, who I had become friendly with she suffered with a bad back, that at times would incapacitate her. I started to send her absent healing as time went by, within my minds eye I could see a bedroom, with a Victorian type bed in it my view was from the head end, and I could see a dressing gown hanging on the rail of the foot end of the bed, also a dressing table with a oval mirror opposite against the wall. After a few months of sending Sue absent healing, she asked me at church did I send my absent healing out on a Friday night, I confirmed to her that I did and that I could see a bedroom, within my minds eye Sue asked me to describe the bedroom, I did and she said that’s my bedroom. I was very astounded and amazed by her comment it was a real shock, but a nice shock if you know what I mean, Sue went on to say she could see my face to her right, as she lay in bed on a Friday night and this was the view I was getting of her bedroom. I did not realise or know that at the time, I was actually astral projecting myself mentally through my healing thoughts, this was a new development for me, and I did not realise that I was really opening up to spirit.


Sat in church one sunny warm Sunday evening, on the platform that evening was the trance medium Berenice Watts. who gave the address and messages in trance, with her spirit guides and loved ones, communicating through her. I was very drawn to Berenice and had a strong feeling a knowing, that spiritually she would teach me, little did I know at that point what a major part, Berenice would play in my spiritual development.

I was invited into Marjorie and Don Jacksons spiritual development circle, in Iver this excited me as I was being told by mediums, that I could develop mediumship and by others, that I was to young at 19 years old, to develop mediumship and that I was not gifted at all, this was a challenge to me as I really needed to excel in something, developing my spiritual awareness is something I really wanted to do, and to prove the doubters wrong. Don and Marjorie’s circle was held every Friday night, at there home there was Don, Marjorie, myself Nancy and John we sat in the living room, in a circle Marjorie would do the prayer of invocation, and we would sit quietly hands on laps palms upwards, in a kind of meditative state freeing our minds, of our material worries woes physical aches and pains, and seeing waiting to see what spirit wished to inspire us with, images within the minds eye, feelings of those spirits that were coming around us in the circle, and any messages they wished to share.

This went on for a good few weeks, although at the end of the evening when it was time to give off what we had received, I had nothing to give as I felt I did not experience anything. I was disheartened by this although Marjorie and Don encouraged me to stick with it, then Marjorie would do the closing prayer and we would have tea and biscuits, we continued to sit over the weeks, and I was being drawn to bend physically, forwards backwards from side to side, my arms outstretched in front of me to the sides and above my head, I felt this was all very strange, but the others did not bat an eyelid, so I carried on allowing this to happen to me, I asked Marjorie about it and she said do not worry, its just spirit adjusting to your physical body.

Zangu Zulu Spirit Guide

So I continued sitting and bending physically, until one night we were sitting in a low light, I looked over at Don and all of a sudden his head disappeared before my eyes, and different heads replaced his a native American, china man, a guy with a bowler hat, people of all different nationalities were appearing, this frightened me but amazed me at the same time, as it was the first time I had ever experienced this. My breathing started to get deeper and deeper, my consciousness was getting very inward until I felt about an inch tall within myself, I could hear my breathing getting deeper and more guttural, I could also feel this energy power however you want to describe it, getting stronger and stronger within me I felt I had no physical control over myself, to be honest I was crapping myself as I had no control, this energy power intelligence I could not describe it at the time, had total control over me, I heard Marjorie say have you come in peace, my head was turned from left to right as to say no, now I was really worried I was looking from within outwards, I did not know what was happening to me, and I had no control Marjorie then said have you come to give healing, my head was moved up and down to say yes.

Marjorie asked who have you come to give healing to, my arm was pointed towards John, who’s spine was crumbling he wore a big surgical belt, and he had to have gold injections into his spine. Amazingly I was stood up and walked towards John, as I moved closer to John my hands were pointed towards him, fingers closed and outstretched, my hands started to shake very rapidly, and from within myself I could see yellow, red, blue, green, beams of light shooting out of my fingers and into John.

I was shocked amazed and wondering what the hell was happening to me, gradually the power holding me began to decrease, Marjorie asked what is your name, a deep guttural voice in a whisper, came from me my name is Zangu, I was sat down and over a few minutes I began to compose myself, and came back into the room, Marjorie explained that Zangu is a healing guide and was told whilst he was with me, that he had been waiting to work with me since before I was born, I cannot describe to you how that felt, this was my first experience of trance. The closing prayer was said and we had tea and biscuits. 


I continued sitting in Marjorie and Don’s development circle, for a few weeks more spirit had started to mentally, give me messages and Zangu would come though me in trance. He was also making his presence felt in the healing sanctuary, as Brian felt I was now advanced enough to channel healing, the power he brought through was amazing, and the temperature would really go up in the healing sanctuary, and people were saying they really felt the benefit of the healing power Zangu brought through.  Although I was starting to have nightmares, this concerned my parents and myself, as I suffered some pretty horrific nightmares as a child, these nightmares were coming back with a vengeance, I assured my parents it was nothing I was doing at the spiritualist church, causing the nightmares to return. I walked into church one evening, and sitting in the foyer was a lovely medium by the name of Mrs Brotherton, Frank the president of the church was arguing with a lady, about me saying I was ungifted and to young to develop, the lady was  saying just because I was young it did not mean I was not gifted. Don’t mind me I thought  Mrs Brotherton sat there quietly smiling, during her demonstration of mediumship she came to me with a message, she was telling me from spirit that they were opening a door for me, and behind that door there was many spiritual gifts, waiting for me to develop and use with spirit in spiritual service, and that I had a very long way to go on the spiritual path, and many would come to me to be uplifted by these gifts, After the service Frank invited me into his church circle, I will leave you the reader to make your mind up about that.

I was reluctant to leave Marjorie and Don’s circle, but mistakenly felt by joining Franks church circle, it would be a way of progressing, as Frank was giving his circle the hard sell. I was still very much learning and naïve, about the right course for spiritual development. So I joined Franks circle, Marjorie and Don were lovely told me to be guided by spirit, and wished me well on my spiritual path, there is not a lot I can say about Franks circle, because spirit really did not communicate with me in that circle, I heard a woman singing in the kitchen one night, no one physical was in the kitchen, and once I was drawn to lay face down on the floor, arms outstretched to the side feet together, I later found out that this is the universal sign of humility.


My nightmares had gradually got a lot worse, I was waking up with a violent jolt screaming my head off, other times I would be falling from the ceiling in my bedroom, with this demonic face above me chasing me, I would wake up with a violent jolt, and be thrown to the other side of the room screaming, one night I woke up screaming kicking the chest of drawers, the other side of the bedroom. Zangu was also coming through as and when he pleased, this was at times embarrassing and dangerous.


My parents were very worried about me, and started talking about getting me psychiatric help, no one at church could give me an answer to the nightmares, I was having, at the time I was working at Bryce Whites Timber Yard in Langley, loading and unloading lorries. I was sent on a forklift driving course which I passed, to celebrate I went across the road to my local pub The Chestnuts, and got myself very drunk directors bitter, and  rum and coke was my tipple at the time, I staggered home and went to sleep.

I was falling from the ceiling again, with demonic face chasing me I woke up with a jolt, wedged between my bed, and an old cabinet type record player, I had inherited from my parents. And in that second I felt a hand grab the back of my head, and force my head down on the corner of the record player, with such force the corner of the record player went through my chin.

My Dad rushed in I couldn’t talk as 3 teeth with gum were under my tongue, I was bleeding heavily, Dad went and got me a tea towel to hold to my mouth to help stop the bleeding, come on Dad said we are going up the hospital, so still drunk wearing my underpants, Dad took me to Wexham Park Hospital. When we arrived in casualty there had been a big fight at one of the local clubs, because of my injury the police thought I was involved in the fight, my Dad said what in his underpants no he has had a nightmare, the look on the policemans  face was classic, I was given emergency surgery, to repair my chin and teeth they could give me an anaesthetic as I was drunk, I saw everything in the stainless steel on the light above my head, I felt every thing the surgeon was doing. He wired and stitched the 3 teeth under my tongue back into place, and put 13 stitches in my chin, I remember vividly the big needle for the penicillin injection, when we got home there was 2 teeth sticking out of the record player, yes it hurt like hell the next day I went to the hospital dentist, to have my teeth put into dental clamps for the next 6 months, to hold them all together.

The next night I went to Slough Christian Spiritualist Church, looking like Frankensteins monster, with 13 stitches in my chin and heavily bruised down the right side of my face, I was a bit shocked as no one said a word, after the service Nancy and Ken approached me, and said do you remember a medium called Berenice Watts, I said yes I did and that I enjoyed her work. Nancy told me that Berenice ran a discussion group in Ruislip, and would I like to go with them as they could see I was in a state, and they felt Berenice could help me.

The following Wednesday we went along to Berenice’s discussion group, the average age of the people there was 40 upwards, I was 19 years old so I felt a bit young stupid and shy to say anything, but I listened with interest to the discussion, afterwards Nancy and Ken Introduced me to Berenice, Nancy said to her Steve’s got some problems can you help him. Berenice took one look at me and, said its going to take more than 5 minutes to sort you out, can you come round for a coffee and chat next week, I agreed as was desperate for help some control over my life, as the nightmares were continuing, and my parents were getting serious abut me seeing a psychiatrist, we made arrangement for me to meet her and her husband Ian for a chat.


The following week I went along to Berenice and Ian’s, I told them of my experiences and my nightmares, admitted I was drunk when my face got smashed up. And that Zangu was coming through whenever he felt like it, Berenice explained to me that I was very open to spirit, and was very annoyed that I had not been taught how to close down to spirit, she explained to me that it was very important to close down to spirit, as we need to live our material lives, also spirit will use a open channel 24/7, this will have a very detrimental effect on a channel mentally and physically, especially as all and sundry and those from lower levels of spirit, are very drawn to the light of an open channel, and can be very harmful to a channel depending on the state, of the spirits coming close to the channel.

And also alcohol is a depressant but also makes us wide open to spirit, if we are not properly closed down. Her guides told her that I was being used astrally for rescue work, to take those on lower levels of spirit into the light and and higher levels of spirit, Berenice taught me how to close down, and to do the closing down meditation, before I went to sleep and before I got up in the morning. By asking God and spirit guides for protection, and imagining a blue and green wall around myself, and stating nothing could penetrate it, would give me the protection I needed, Berenice added that my spirit guides were also being very lazy, by not protecting me, Berenice then invited me into her circle to sit for spiritual development.

I was amazed and delighted, that Berenice had invited me into her development circle, it was like jumping from infant school to university, I was very much taught how to close to spirit, also how to open to spirit correctly, how to control my guides and to communicate with them, Berenice is a trance medium so I was taught trance, how to come in and out of trance properly, my guides were taught how to respect and look after me as a physical channel, they wanted to use me so they are responsible for looking after me. other than myself and Berenice there was Ian her husband, and Ron and Pauline a couple also sat in the circle, we would each in turn have to bring a guide through to talk on a set subject. My favourite was Li an oriental guide, who channelled through Ian his talks were very informative and funny, on how spirit works, universal law, levels of spirit, reincarnation.

We were taught how to give an inspired address from our guides, how to give messages from spirit, by cutting out unnecessary bits like names and anniversaries, sand, tarot, playing cards, crystal ball, psychometry, How to channel energy, meditation, one of the more gruelling excersises she would put a picture, in an envelope and we would have to tell her, what or who was in the picture and describe what we saw felt.

One night in Berenices circle I arrived, and the bowl of sand was there, she told me I was going to do a sand reading with a difference, after opening the circle Ian channelled the energy of a guide, into the sand I had to tell them who the guide was, as I looked into the shapes and shadows in the sand, in my minds eye I could see like a monastry with a silver lining around it, I could also see a group of bhuddist monks walking a path to this monastry, they were being attacked for the food they had with them, one got hit over the head, instantly in a split second everything went black, and a massive electric like shock through me, then I was back in the room, Ian told me the guide was in actual fact his guide Li, he was a bhuddist monk, and he was murdered for the food he had with him, and is monastry was called the monastry of silver light.

Sadly Berenice’s circle lasted 9 months, as Berenice and Ian moved to Crawley to live, and it was to far for us to travel, I still feel a link to Berenice’s circle and my fellow sitters, I will be forever grateful to her for her help and teaching, I also teach the same way as she did very disciplined. I have been working off what I learned in that circle, for the past 34 years it was way ahead of its time, and still is today because it was universal spiritual teaching, as a way of life, and to give from the spirit through the heart.






The Life And Times Of A Lost Soul:Part 1 Opening The Door

I have been asked many times, how I got into spiritualism, in fact I wish I had a pound, for every time I have told the tale, of how I got into spiritualism so here goes. I have always been able to sense and feel things, for as long as I can remember, mainly other peoples emotions. Or having images within my mind, showing me what was to come in the immediate future, my first memory of this I was 4 years old, we were living in Datchet, in a lovely Victorian house it was boxing day that year. Myself and my cousin Brian were watching television, Jack and the Beanstalk if I remember correctly, well it was 1964. I had this very strong image in my mind of my bed being on fire, I told Brian my bed was on fire, he said do not be silly it is my cigarette, I played up so much my Dad went to investigate. Beside my bed was a 2 bar electric heater it was turned on, close to the blankets on my bed the blankets were smouldering, my Dad switched off the fire and put out the blankets.

Although I rarely see spirit and if I do it is usually just from the shoulders up, or a quick flash of a full physical form, which I see out of the corner of my eye, I have always been able to sense spirit standing close to me, communicating with me in emotion, can you imagine how this feels to a boy, who does not understand what is happening to him. I can tell you it is very unnerving, and at times frightening. The first life event that had a real impact on me, was the passing to spirit of my grandfather I was 7 years old. I could not believe that my granddad had died, because even at that young age I believed that life was eternal, my granddads physical death came as a total shock to me.

We used to have legendary bonfires for Guy Fawkes night, over The Gulley that year 1967, and I really feared my granddad would appear in giant form for all to see, that image was very powerful within my mind. November 5th came granddad did not appear in giant form, I was relieved but questioning why did he not show himself, when I feel him so close to me he is still alive, this emotion has perplexed me all my life, and I have now made this emotion public, to which I am glad that I am finally sharing it.

Can you imagine how it feels to a child, to have there mind and senses bombarded like this, there are many  people like me throughout the world like me, I reach out to you all, please seek guidance and spiritual development. I went on like this for a number of years, becoming more shy and introverted.

I left school and after 18 months in the army, I started work at Hire Service Shops. I was the yardman, my job to keep the yard clean and tidy load and unload lorries, through this job I met Brain North, he was the electrician there fixing and servicing electrical tools for hire, his nickname was Gnu from the famous teabag advert at the time, because he was always drinking tea, he was also vice president of Slough Spiritualist Church. The store manager was also a Spiritualist, I would have lengthy conversations with Brian, I would discuss with him what had been happening to me. He would tell me about the spiritualist church, and life in spirit.

I will be eternally thankful for Brian North, because he gave me answers to questions. and all of a sudden I did not feel quite so weird, the other lads I worked with warned me off Brian, saying he was a nutter and trying to convert me into a cult. I know now this was more fear than knowledge, that made them warn me away from Brian.

Eventually Brian invited me to attend a service at Slough Spiritualist Church, I was concerned Brian would set something up for me, although I was compelled to go to Slough Spiritualist Church to investigate, I did not tell him when I would visit.

New Years Day 1978 I visited Slough Spiritualist Church, and was given a warm welcome, I was impressed by the friendliness of the people there, I turned up on my Honda CG125 wearing a bomber Jacket jeans and white scarf, please excuse me I was 17 what must they have thought. The Mediums that night were Mr and Mrs Zealey, Mrs Zealey was a trance medium, yes I do remember, I knew it would be religious as Slough, was a Christian Spiritualist Church. But overall I was not impressed with the mediumship, after the service during tea and biscuits, a little old lady called Ada came to speak with me, she had been resident medium there for over 40 years, she gave me a message from Spirit that was so darn accurate, I had to investigate further and decided to attend on a regular basis. That was the beginning of a 39 year Journey