Homesick Heart

The journey of the soul is seeking out a place where the heart can call home, if such a place exists in this myriad of possibilities, expectations always fall short of what truly manifests in the meditation of life, memories reflect back like the broken shards of a mirror, strewn on the floor of the mind, the homesick heart knows there is no way back, for the heart is the wanderer, the loner bound in time journeying towards the inevitable fate, as all fades away in our world of matter and time.

Within our mortal existence we accept change as we grow old, because we are mortal it is all we can perceive, but the heart is the inner child timeless and eternal, time is of no importance to the homesick heart, only to be where the heart belongs.

Stephen Rowlands 25/03/18  

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The Life And Times Of A Lost Soul: Chapter 1 Opening The Door

I have been asked many times, how I got into spiritualism, in fact I wish I had a pound, for every time I have told the tale, of how I got into spiritualism so here goes. I have always been able to sense and feel things, for as long as I can remember, mainly other peoples emotions. Or having images within my mind, showing me what was to come in the immediate future, my first memory of this I was 4 years old, we were living in Datchet, in a lovely Victorian house it was boxing day that year. Myself and my cousin Brian were watching television, Jack and the Beanstalk if I remember correctly, well it was 1964. I had this very strong image in my mind of my bed being on fire, I told Brian my bed was on fire, he said do not be silly it is my cigarette, I played up so much my Dad went to investigate. Beside my bed was a 2 bar electric heater it was turned on, close to the blankets on my bed the blankets were smouldering, my Dad switched off the fire and put out the blankets.

Although I rarely see spirit and if I do it is usually just from the shoulders up, or a quick flash of a full physical form, which I see out of the corner of my eye, I have always been able to sense spirit standing close to me, communicating with me in emotion, can you imagine how it feels to a boy, who does not understand what is happening to him. I can tell you it is very unnerving, and at times frightening. The first life event that had a real impact on me, was the passing to spirit of my grandfather I was 7 years old. I could not believe that my granddad had died, because even at that young age I believed that life was eternal, my granddads physical death came as a total shock to me.

We used to have legendary bonfires for Guy Fawkes night, over The Gulley that year 1967, and I really feared my granddad would appear in giant form for all to see, that image was very powerful within my mind. November 5th came granddad did not appear in giant form, I was relieved but questioning why did he not show himself, when I feel him so close to me he is still alive, this emotion has perplexed me all my life, and I have now made this emotion public, to which I am glad that I am finally sharing it.

Can you imagine how it feels to a child, to have there mind and senses bombarded like this, there are many  people like me throughout the world like me, I reach out to you all, please seek guidance and spiritual development. I went on like this for a number of years, becoming more shy and introverted.

I left school and after 18 months in the army, I started work at Hire Service Shops. I was the yardman, my job to keep the yard clean and tidy load and unload lorries, through this job I met Brain North, he was the electrician there fixing and servicing electrical tools for hire, his nickname was Gnu from the famous teabag advert at the time, because he was always drinking tea, he was also vice president of Slough Spiritualist Church. The store manager was also a Spiritualist, I would have lengthy conversations with Brian, I would discuss with him what had been happening to me. He would tell me about the s

I will be eternally thankful for Brian North, because he gave me answers to questions. and all of a sudden I did not feel quite so weird, the other lads I worked with warned me off Brian, saying he was a nutter and trying to convert me into a cult. I know now this was more fear than knowledge, that made them warn me away from Brian.

Eventually Brian invited me to attend a service at Slough Spiritualist Church, I was concerned Brian would set something up for me, although I was compelled to go to Slough Spiritualist Church to investigate, I did not tell him when I would visit.

New Years Day 1978 I visited Slough Spiritualist Church, and was given a warm welcome, I was impressed by the friendliness of the people there, I turned up on my Honda CG125 wearing a bomber Jacket jeans and white scarf, please excuse me I was 17 what must they have thought. The Mediums that night were Mr and Mrs Zealey, Mrs Zealey was a trance medium, yes I do remember, I knew it would be religious as Slough, was a Christian Spiritualist Church. But overall I was not impressed with the mediumship, after the service during tea and biscuits, a little old lady called Ada came to speak with me, she had been resident medium there for over 40 years, she gave me a message from Spirit that was so darn accurate, I had to investigate further and decided to attend on a regular basis. That was the beginning of a 41 year Journey

THANKYOU FOR READING Stephen Rowlands